I've been reading along...you are such a tower of strength. You amaze me!
As for the bank situation, are both of your names on the account? If yes, then I would visit the bank branch manager in his/her private office and give them a brief background of your stich (you are fighting cancer, your H has run off with the Ow and his living with her). Then request that they continue sending statements to your house because you do not want the OW to have access to YOUR bank account.
One can never know if the bank branch manager may have had a brush with the OW/OM and would certainly frown on H's latest moves.
