First, I am so sorry about the situation you are in.
I must disagree regarding contacting the OM's wife. In fact, most of your friends here in the online community would advise against contacting her. MWD doesn't recommend contacting the affair partner's spouse at all! There are lots of reasons not to do it!
It would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Please call me to discuss our program at 303-444-7004.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.