I'm not sure you are really reading of LRT or going dark. And, you aren't really doing either. What your goals are is to stop initiating contact unless it is necessary re your kids. When she initiates, be friendly & upbeat, but if it is a problem she wants you to solve, think long and hard about it. Is it a friend kind of thing or is she leaning on you as an H. The former maybe fine, but she doesn't want you as an H, at least right now, so don't be one.
On the in-house situation, go into a Rob space if she is in. Invite the kids in & play (w/ door closed perhaps), or do something you like. No moping. It isn't punishment for either of you, it's for your sanity and detachment.
Keep reading DR, and re-read the sections that seem esp. relevant to your sitch. Give your steps some time to work, see what changes in her behavior come about, then evaluate how to tweak the plan.
Good luck.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
