Recently, H and I had a conversation where I was able to practice one of my 180's. I genuinely validated him, responded to the information vs. reacting to it and then walked away calmly. It felt great and H looked surprised, too.
Special thanks to Asitis who keeps at me to GAL and detach.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced