While I know I'm not supposed to think about the OW, I've yet again read her words and confirmed she is a scheming manipulator who is steering my W's decisions about everything... and I just don't know if I can ever compete as they get deeper and deeper into things.
Since the boys are both off Friday evening, I suggested we get together for dinner at their apartment - and although I figured the W would decline the invitation, I said it would be polite for them to invite her, too. No pressure. Just a nice gesture of thanks for helping with the move and shopping for them last week. They did so by email... and you know I can't help reading those...
W forwards the email to the OW saying, "Ugh... (Dif's) hand is all over this. I want to spend the day with you on Friday, but I think it wouldn't be nice not to accept the offer."
The OW writes back: "Ugh is right! Let’s both chew on this a little bit before you answer. It would be helpful if you could see Dif before you answer so you know what frame of mind she is in after her retreat. If she has come back with a renewed vigor to win you back, a 'family' dinner could be horrible. You do need to maintain a civil relationship with your tenants and them wanting to thank you is nice, but I know you don’t want to do it and I kind of doubt the boys do either."
Wow... the way the OW frames things... quotes around the word "family." Renewed vigor to win her back? A horrible dinner? Calling the boys "tenants" and mentioning a civil relationship with them? She isn't just a homewrecker - this woman is out to destroy any remnant of our family, and any remnant of our relationship.
I guess I'm not surprised, as no doubt this happens in person and in texts I never see. Considering how increasingly resolute my W is that we are over, I just know she is being coached.
Here's the kicker though: they no longer consider their relationship an affair - now THEIRS is the real relationship, and I'm just the stupid ex who still wears her ring and won't get it through her head that we're done. (Although, despite what I confess on this board, I actually have been clear that I don't want her back - not "this" her, anyway, and in her presence, I've practiced friendly-neighbor detachment for a week with great precision.)
Under these circumstances, how is it possible, no matter how much I become the best "me" I can be, to draw her back to me? Does anyone see this another way? Is the OW feeling threatened by me? Is it really necessary for her to discredit me like this when my W is so clearly "in love" with her?
By DBing, am I just tilting at windmills here? I have plans to continue with my GAL activities and move on with my life, but with all of this, I'm just fishing for a little hope that I haven't already lost her for good to this sociopath.
Last edited by Cadet; 07/01/1502:21 AM. Reason: merged
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
