FIDO - Changing The Rules - Pt 1

[NH115]

I'm at my wits end.

Just when I think we're piecing, that things are improving, it blows up.

We were traveling back from a great long weekend in San Antonio with the kids. All seemed well; we were living as if, she was warmer, we were making good memories with the kids, all these things we're supposed to do....

And then OM posts a pic of he and his wife on a couples vacation in San Francisco. My W freaks out. Total spew, hate and blame. Spew on him for playing mind games with her, spew on me for screwing up her life, spew on herself for being a loser. Alternation between hate at me, hate at him and self pity. This victim crap of hers is really getting old.

Seems like every time I get some hope it blows up in my face. At this point I'd be happy for her to run off with someone else just to get the abuse and mind games to stop.

When things are calm, she's warm, upbeat; things aren't where they should be but we're on a good path. When she crashes, it's hell.

I know piecing is a long process but shouldn't we be past some of this by now?

I told her to do what she needed to do to make herself happy...I even got to the point of giving her a hall pass; if she wants to meet someone, then she should do it. At least then I'd be free to make my life the way I want it. Her answer was telling; she didn't say that she wanted to continue to work on us, she was terrified that she was too old, too tired and too busy to go out and meet men. That spoke volumes to me.

I'm just about to quit