New marriage already over -please help me :/

[Aj8]

Hi everyone , don't know where to start, started following this board a few weeks ago, trying to find hope in this dark time for me.
So my story I'm 35 wife 30 , total time together 7yrs , 5 yrs lives together , 2 years engaged and recently married for 6 months.
We moved back to the SF Bay Area from Washington, D.C. (Lived in DC for 5 years ) she's a nurse me a analyst . So we moved back to SF to make our life here closer to Friends and family . Moved back 6 months ago , she's on graduate school and has to do hospital internships too far from where we live so 5 days out of the week she'd stay at her moms to be closer there . This is only temporary for when she graduates in 18 months things were going to be back to normal .

Anyway she always said she loved me , missed me , etc., but I was complacent and didn't say it nearly enough or show her affection (took the relationship for granted )

About two months ago I told her I might not want kids and I need to give it more thought , that freaked her out and she then after speaking with her friends decided I'm not the man for her Bc I put her down on her weight ( I did suggest we both eat better and exercise and she'd agree , never knew it made her self conscious ) , that I wasn't affectionate, etc. so a month ago she says she wants a divorce and leaves me . I beg and cry and she comes back , I tell her after she left (for a week) I honestly did soul searching and want kids I just had a moment of fear.

So that month back to our schedule , she comes home fri-sat but is cold and distant with me and I don't know how to act so I ball up in a shell and try to engage but she's not her self with me . Meanwhile I was looking for marriage counselors as she wanted but didn't do it fast enough as two weeks ago on a Sunday she leaves the ring and says it's over she doesn't love me anymore and she's filing . She closed our joint bank account yesterday , only texts me to tell me not to be home when she comes to get her stuff . Her family , my mom all try to talk to her and tell her to not do this but she won't listen . In fact her family/friends up to two weeks ago thought there might be hope but after this weekend they all texted me and said it seems over , no hope

I'm devastated , I cry everyday , I'm like a zombie emotionless and then just tears . What do I do ?? I don't understand how just a month + ago she was telling me still how much she loves me and I'm her soulmate to this.

Btw confirmed she's not cheating .I'm trying the steps , etc., to leave her alone Bc if I try contact she coldly says she doesn't love me divorce is only option, which stings me more .