You are mind reading Cadet, careful!

Actually your advice to confront her pleases me as I was fighting against not doing so. I reread parts of DR and some stuff here and confrontation seems to be to be avoided.

Pushing the guy seemed the most likely to have a result based on what I know. It is my reading of him based on six months of snooping. I could outline the basis of that thinking, but that is s sidetrack. But I would be interested in knowing why you think it was a bad idea?

I am not afraid of confronting my W. And unless I have another convincing reason not to, I'll do so tonight. OK I propose to just state that I have thou about it and do not find it normal or appropriate what happened Saturday. night. Would you advise to go further and speak in general?


Whereas I do not fear bringing up the topic with W, I am unsure if it will help. I suppose short term it will push us a part more, but maybe with time she will respect it.


Any tips/advice about best approach? Anything to avoid?


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together