Gosh, what a hard weekend/week for you! I am so sorry that you had to tell the kiddos about the D. The only change I would have made in that scenario is for W to have been present as well because the WAS needs to see the impact on the kids.
I think it stinks that they ducked out on this huge responsibility and not see firsthand the choices they've made really impacts everyone. I am not saying that you were wrong here. Not at hall. Just that I would have told W to get her butt over to the house and sit through it together with you.
