Yeah....I could have worded it better. How about this....
In my mind, we're all here fighting two fights - one for ourselves and one for our marriage. Ultimately, there's two things I hope to achieve - 1) to get my WIFE back and 2) to get my LIFE back.
I have no idea if there's a right or wrong way to prioritize them. But I see in myself that I am hoping that achieving (2) will allow (1) to happen. I have no plans as of this moment as to how to re-attract my wife. I'm hoping that my coach will help me. But I find that I'm the most down when I have lulls in my LIFE. When the kids are in bed and I have nothing to do, when I wake up, etc.
In reading your posts, I feel like you are trying to achieve (1) in order for (2) to happen. You have a lot of specific plans about doing something to re-attract your wife and when they fall through or she doesn't react as you hoped, I can sense that you get down.
I don't know...maybe its semantics? maybe all you need is, as you said, to detach from the outcome. Try something and see if it works vs try something you hope will work and be down if it doesn't.
I don't know. Again, just some thoughts I had. Hope you don't stay down for long!
