Now I am wonderfing if she felt uncomfortable around me for the past few years. As this friend was at every birthday party, any dinners out on weekends, went on vacation together, just so much ingrained in our lives. Yes, she babysat for us a lot too and I am grateful for that but now looking back, it strikes me as another oddity.
With this new additional information, I am going to revise my earlier comments.
So you are telling me that Friend A has been with you and W at every birthday party, dinners, vacations together, and pulling babysitting duty, right?
If this is the case, then I see it as a positive that W is bringing Friend A to spend time together as a family. This is the first time that it's happened in a long time since the BD.
I think having Friend A is a positive step for W. I would take it in a positive light. It is a good baby step here.
When you do see W with the family get-together, be light and breezy. Chat with Friend A about some common interests or discuss some new food that you liked.
