Call an addictions counselor (preferably with the appropriate credentials, etc) to explain your sitch and your goals. Ask for assistance and insights on the best way to make sincere amends to a spouse. If I were you, I'd ask for permission to contact couples with former recovering addicts for some further insights.
Some while ago, I recall going with a client to a court mandated training sessions on drunk driving. I went along to make sure that he didn't wind up in jail if he missed it. The leader of the group was a recovered alcoholic who really changed his life after losing his wife. He got sober and now works as a director of a substance abuse center. Hearing his story was truly inspiring. He was homeless for some time. He truly, truly hit rock bottom.
