I have read and can believe that we really become an adult when we lose our parents. Much like you, my parents have been my rock in this time of upheaval. Hours on the phone with me, witnessing complete meltdown of their 39 year old son on Skype, helping me with the kids at times. I can't imagine I would how I would have gone through this without them. Like yours, my father has had heart problems. It is constantly on y mind as his operation was already 17 years ago.
I'm affected by the loss of your father so I can imagine that for you it will be a life changing event. Another challenge at a time when you didn't need more. I can understand why you would blame your ex because I would too. I was touched by what Fogg and others have said though: the man you described was probably fulfilled in his role by being there for you. Giving can be more satisfying than receiving. I'm lead to believe that you made your father happy when you turned to him in this time of need. I can't imagine a greater gift that my daughters would give me one day.
I'm sorry for your loss. I look forward to reading how you cope with it.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
