Dif - One thought I have in reading your posts. A lot of the things you are doing seem to be in a way to try to manipulate your W's feelings one way or another. Maybe not intentionally, but in some of your writing it comes off that way. You are going away fr so long and not telling your W to see her reaction, or bringing up shopping but not going, so she sees what she's missing, lighting candles to arouse certain scents for her, and so on. I'm not saying these are necessarily bad activities or behaviors by themselves.
But I think in your mind, you can't come at this like a puzzle you need to figure out. You're not on Apollo 13 trying to figure out the specific sequence of actions to land the ship. Somehow, you need to actually let her go. I think on some level she will feel it. I just think on some level trying to manipulate her feelings in a specific way is going to leave you worn out but still no closer to your goal.
I could be way off base, but that's the thought I had.
