hold on! - 10

[u-turn]

yes V - I believe this is how it should work for now, but I don't see how I can force this either. Yes - fair is fair, but this would take an actual conversation and agreement.

The business - yes - my drowning and depression caused a lack of function since BD. I can only blame myself for this because it is how I handled my sitch - it paralyzed me in many ways. I have made a major recovery here.

I am resorting to writing an apology/explanation letter to the owner of each bridge I burned along the way. It is embarrassing, but I don't know what else I can do to re-build.

---

On another front, it seems that a conversation that I had with my brother turned into a rumor mill. W has heard from someone that we are getting a divorce. This is not exactly how I wanted this to play out, and I'm not exactly sure how it happened. I haven't told anyone that we are getting a divorce, because I do not really know that - I only told brother that we were having troubles when he was wondering why she wasn't at his party with me. (In no way did I indicate that there was an affair.)

But anyway, I have to address this in some way with W. I know I probably shouldn't have talked to my brother, but I do not really want to hide or make up excuses or lie either.

I would guess that W feels outed and that it is nobody's business - maybe she is right. I didn't intend for this to happen, but I also feel that my own family deserves to know why I have been the way I have been for the last year and a half.

This may fall under the scorched earth category - or it may go away - or it may just prod things along and make W realize that this is really happening.