I had brunch yesterday with my friend who has been going through his own divorce with the same timeline and event occurrences as me. And again, we're in about the same place as each other: he's got his life essentially together and is enjoying spending romantic time with a woman without necessarily expecting this person to be his life partner. It's reassuring somehow to know that he's been doing all right too.
One curious element of our conversation that I didn't ask about (because ultimately I don't really want to know) was when he mentioned my STBX. This fellow became our friend before the whole A/D drama occurred, so he knows STBX as a friend. And in this conversation yesterday, he and I began talking about the importance of being independently self-assured and certain of one's own needs and interests-- that understanding oneself is what makes it possible to truly have a life partner who fits you. And he said that STBX is absolutely not doing that: "I tried to be friends with [STBX] and [OM]," he told me, "but she's just too absorbed in being 'the two of us' with him; she's taken a swan dive right into it." He shook his head, and proceeded to bring the conversation back to our own situations, and I decided not to press him further.
