Rip,
This introspection is courageous and admirable. I'm right there with you. I've realized how much of my identity and self worth were wrapped up in the MR. Once that's pulled out from underneath us, we feel empty as individuals. It felt so right to intertwine ourselves with another at the time. However, now we have to carefully pull up all the roots. It's painful and scary. We are rediscovering ourselves. Cadet is correct that this is progress but knowing this doesn't make it any easier.

I too have been experiencing dreams about W. Wish they'd go away.

Me:35 W:30
D:4 S:1
Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA
In House Separation: 01/14/15
W moves out: 04/05/15
I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15
W serves D papers: 06/19/15
Mediation: 09/16/15
D final: 12/01/15