I agree with above - don't beat yourself up. it is only natural. dont know if i have said this to you or not - but grief, what you are going through is normal. In my case at least what has helped a great deal is to not try and fight it. (well some of the time i get this right). if you are sad, let yourself be sad. by all means tell yourself about all the things you should be appreciating. about all the things you have learnt that are going to make a better future. etc. but don't necessarily tell yourself, or medicate to directly not be sad.
your brain is wired one, and now it is re-wiring. you will keep hurting (at least) until this is done. The re-wiring brings with it pain. If you keep pushing out the pain, the work will never get done.
When it is cold outside I feel the cold on my skin and focus that the cold is there. This works for a long time before the cold penetrates my body. My friends, W, etc - they always start shivering and cross their arms etc immediately after going outside. Let the pain wash over you, touch your skin, but dont hold on to it, dont force it away, just let it pass. Easier said than done.
Also Cindy, I have recently reignited a discussion with Smothy about meditation. This has saved my life on several occasions, absolutely including this one. dont know if your interested?
take care - Py
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
