Little Cloud of Dust - PigPen & The WAW (3)

[asitis]

Sorry you're struggling with the emotions & the illness.

I wanted to ask for a bit more detail on this learning from cousin that W wanted to work on the M, and then finding out she only wanted to move to closure.

I assumed you talked to W and she clarified that she wasn't coming to work on the R? How did that come about? Did you approach her w/ the news from the cousin, and if so how? What exactly did W say? What steps did she say she was planning to take and what steps has she taken either already or since then.

My W will keep reminding me she still wants a D, or about the plan to sell the house next spring, etc., but she makes no moves to do the things that would move us in that direction.

We've talked about mediation. No mediation scheduled or planned. We've talked about all the things that would need to happen for the house, and I'm the only one working on any of those projects. While that doesn't tell me anything conclusive, remember that you need to pay more attention to her actions than her words.

Also, I see you have MC scheduled. Her initiative or yours? If hers and she says that she wants closure, seriously ask why an MC? What does she think that will accomplish?

Maybe I (or both of us) are misunderstanding what she means by closure. Maybe she wants to see if there is something to save and wants to get to making that decision via MC. If that is the case, take it slow, as MC won't really work too well until she has made a choice to invest her self in trying t make the R work.

If she really just wants closure, sure go to the MC as a safe space to discuss the next steps, but I'd be hesitant to continue after that if she isn't wanting to work to see if the M can be saved. It would be better to look into a mediator (preferably one with a therapy rather than legal background if you still have some hope of the M). Save your MC for when there is work to be done to save the M. Mediator for work to be done to move the other direction.

Good luck & feel better1