My oldest recently graduated college, and I'll admit, it galled me to see my ex acting all proud papa when he had f-all to do with getting him to this point.
Your son is old enough to make his own decisions and you're right to respect that. On the other hand, in the long run,he will be better off if he can come to some cordial relationship with his father. I have seen the corrosive effects in my ex's family of the children carrying a grudge against the WAS and it's not pretty. Perhaps you can help him find a way to have healthy boundaries but also compassion for the terrible toll MLC is ex acting on ex, and remember the good parenting that his father gave when he was young. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
