Summer of Growth and Acceptance

[V2pt0]

H just left for three straight weeks. That means a gift of time/opportunity to solely focus on my goals for the summer and find the strength and mindset to let go of him. I know I need to let him go if I want any hope of saving my M.

Today, I still found myself hurt that he made no attempt to spend time with me this weekend before he left. He did not even bother to say good morning today. I walked in in the kitchen and nicely told him to have a good trip and then took off to walk the dog. I did not want to be there when he drove off and did not want to make it seem I was hanging around this morning. I barely got a response from him.

So, for the most part it is still status quo. He is still ignoring me and making no effort on his part. As much as I try, it is constant effort to not take this personally, but sometimes do. Maybe not as much as in the beginning. Maybe in his mind or current state he does not realize how harsh and cruel his behavior toward me is or maybe he does. Who knows. I cannot spend my time worrying about it. I know I have not been the perfect wife, but I also there is nothing that I have done to be treated this way. It is not about me, but him. He is having an active A, so this behavior is right on par. I have to find some way to get over this and no longer let it affect me. Hoping this 3 weeks gives me the strength to get there.

I have a nice full week ahead with work, bootcamp M-F, Meetup on Wedneday, holiday on Friday, 5k, BBQ and fireworks on Saturday. I just need to plan out the other two weeks with more activities. I do have one art class scheduled.