The Bird, the Cage, and the open door.

[ForeverYoung]

I am concerned for her and her well being so its hard to expect she has anything else for the M. And even whats left in the tank .. I am torn is that enough>? No .. I deserve better ... but that's the selfish part of me talking ... along with the past me who never felt I was in the top 5 priority category and I still don't feel that ... maybe once I do I will relax and be all in ... till now I still feel very much a LBH and watching from afar making sure not to add pressure, allowing her to get through this and be the lighthouse and rock while continuing my own journey.

Cali, you and I both share the primary LL of PT... and have both gone a long time without. I understand firsthand how you would feel frustrated!

Does she understand just how important this is to you? That it's even a deal breaker for you?

...its hard to expect she has anything else for the M

You don't know what she has left for the M.

But you do know you have a wife who wants both you and the marriage!

OMG, why would you STFU and risk losing your one and only (ever) long term relationship? With the person you said you loved in a way that you could never love another.

If you make your "needs" known, and/or start making some moves, you'll find out quickly what she has left for the M. Start small and build slowly. You may be pleasantly surprised.

I can also tell you from firsthand experience that when your wife does step up, even in small ways, it will REALLY fuel your tank.

Don't fall into the trap of waiting until everything is perfect before beginning to have your needs met. Work with her, Cali. Allow her to work with you in her own way. I'm betting she won't let you down!

Yes, our wives are not done baking yet, but I'm of the belief that our 2.0 wives will only continue to get BETTER. They are not running or burning bridges. For some reason they are IN this crazy marriage thing with us. Go figure!