Lost & confused

[Clairee]

Thanks you guys. H tells me today he absolutely wants to make the M work. He terminated the email address this morning. Last night he called OW with me on speaker, she didn't answer. H left a message that he was focusing on his M & family, that what they did was wrong & to not make contact with him. He deleted the numbers out of his phone, deleted her email address & removed her from FB. I don't know if that really means anything at this point. H said he wanted us to go to MC. He makes all these grand statements but then does this. Is this MLC? Addition to attention? Needs affirmation from younger women? What the ?!$& This is not the man I married. And none of this happened until he was 2600 miles from home, alone with no one around & nothing to do. I fully admit things weren't great. But what gives?

Today we took the kids to the beach. We had promised them that as soon as Dad got home we'd spend the entire day. H was all lovey. Wanting to put his arms around me & kiss me while we were floating in the water. Held my hand on the drive to & from the beach, said I love you all the time. I didn't reject it in front of the kids. They don't know anything. I've done my best to shield them from everything. My Ds are far too sensitive & it would shake their world. They get upset if they think we're arguing about anything.

When we got home, he went to the store for me. While I was cooking dinner, he told me how great of a day it was & how if we could make everyday like this we'd be the best there ever was. Said that I have made him feel unappreciated & that he didn't matter to me. Said if I could change how I treated him over the years, no one else would ever measure up to me. We had that discussion not even 2 months ago & I validated his feelings at the time. Apologized for letting him think I didn't love or appreciate him. We both agreed over the phone & through text would make it almost impossible for me to show him any change. But through phone & text, I did what I could. We both took the 5 love languages quiz & I found I had been showing him the way I wanted to be shown but not the way he did. Since then, I've emailed him every night before I went to bed so he woke up to it. I've stopped what I was doing when he wanted to talk. I've listened, active listening, to what he had to say. I've validated when I could. Made reassurances when he needed them. Not sure what else I could do from so far away.

After his talk today, I just asked if he was 100% in this? If he was then it has to be only us, me & him. No 3rd person. That he can't give our M it's fair try if he's putting time & energy into someone else. That it will never work if he's dividing his thoughts & energy. He agreed.

But like the vets on here say, believe none of what they say & only half of what they do.

Ugh! Just ugh!