Thanks, Cali. Yeah, when the kids are involved... Homie don't play that. Thanks for the support; I really appreciate it. It felt good to protect myself... and my kids!
OK, so busy, busy week! Lots going on. Just going to post about today's events. I'm beat! It's amazing what a toll emotions can take on you.
First, it was s18's graduation! Whoop whoop! He made it!
I have been a little on edge about where xh fits in all this... but have really kept it at bay, for the most part.
The graduation, itself, was like 40 minutes away at an amphitheater. It is a fairly large class, and that's where they can fit everyone.
S18 and I had one last conversation the other day about giving his dad a ticked. He refused. I hate talking about it... I feel like I am in such an uncomfortable position. Everyone gets 5. I had a feeling tho, since I haven't heard from xh about it in over a month, he had found a way to get one. Especially after Wal-Gate, I knew he wouldn't reach out to me again. I just hate this.
Anyway, its like a monsoon here! Non-stop downpour. Although the ceremony was covered, the long walk was mess. But, it's all good.
After the ceremony, I found s18, and we were headed out with d14... into the monsoon. Not too far out the door, xh and bil (next door) were right there and rushed all up on s18.
The entire amphitheater was filtering out into the rain. It was wet, crowded, and.... whoa... it became very uncomfortable. It seemed like chaos! Like in a movie or something. You couldn't even digest what was happening!
Xh was there in a flash. It was so unexpected to seem him approach like that. He got all up on s18... grabby and pushy! Then he put his arm around his shoulder and was trying to pull him aside. We continued to walk briskly through the crowd and rain... with umbrella colliding everywhere. XBil was going in every direction.. d14 didn't know which way to go... but s18 pressed on... as did I. Within the first few seconds, when xh put his arm around s18 tightly, he looked right over at me, who was on the other side of s18. He made direct eye contact, but... not turning his entire face.. It was a full-intent look, but a side-eye. He held it for a few seconds.
I can't even tell you the look. I just don't even know, but there was some serious intent in it. The best guess I can think was, "F U, I got a ticket." But, honestly, I just don't know. But, there was some sort of distinctive purpose... I just don't know what.
He continued to press on s18. S18 handled it so well. He just kept forward and kept calm. He just told him no. No, he was not going to talk to him. Xh started talking condescendingly to him, but still tried to get him to... well... I'm not sure. XBIL stepped in a little... in the mess, and said congrats to s18. S18, turned, acknowledge him, shook his hand, and thanked him.
Xh then tried to give s18 a card. He said no thank you. Xh was pushy and said, "What, you don't want it?!" S18 said, "No, I'm good." Xbil gave him one and s18 accepted and thanked him.
At that point, I was a few steps ahead, hiding under my umbrella. Then I heard xh tell d14 to "come here" I could hear her say a few words, nicely, but we all pressed on.
This time, we were out in the parking lot, heading in a separate direction.
We made it to the car. It was heavy. S18 was upset. It's hard to explain. But almost like being involved in an accident or something. Like, it's out of your control, you are trying to stay safe, it's all happening so fast, there is chaos around you.. but... it's upsetting. And when you get to safety, you feel... heavy, upset, and trying to recollect yourself.
S18 said, "Man. He ruined my vibe!" It was quiet in the car. Everyone could feel the tension. I started pulling out, and guess who I pulled right up on?! Yup, walking right along where we were trying to get out.
Xh walked right up to my car to s18's window and knocked on it. He and xbil were laughing. XH got right down into the window and gave him a thumbs up and said, "Good job!" and laughed then stared to walk away. He flashed the peace sign, he looked through the front and gave a evil smile and continued to flash peace. (That's what I always did... but smiling and nice! I notice he has been doing things I have done in the past)
All I can say, is that when he came up to the car... it was evil! It seemed so mean! There were no good intentions. I don't know, maybe I am misreading, but... I did not feel good at all.
I didn't feel too much when he came by me. Felt a little more like when I'd see him in the fall. I could just feel the tension... and... anger.
I didn't say a word. I didn't give expressions. I didn't turn away. I did continue on when s18 took a moment to see xbil, but I gave him nothing.
After, we meet up with my oldest brother and his family and my parents. We had a nice dinner with lots of laughs.
