Where I focus on charity and prayer

[DifRent]

It used to be I only slept well at my own house. The past couple of months, I am lucky to get four hours of sleep there. Slept really well here at mom's, in spite of the less comfortable bed and less than ideal climate - it's just so peaceful here, nothing toxic. Operating on such a sleep deficit helped too, I'm sure...

W sent a text early this morning, but it was in response to a request I'd made, she didn't seem too concerned with where I am. She probably guessed I'm at my mom's anyway, not really anyplace else I'd be. She might start to wonder once I'm gone for a second and third night when I'm coming back, but I suspect she will refrain from seeming too interested. I think the OW is coaching her on how to deal with me...

I shouldn't let this bother me, but she changed her profile picture on Facebook from one I'd taken last fall to one clearly taken somewhere with the OW, and painted those rainbow colors over it to indicate her support of the SCOTUS gay marriage ruling yesterday. That feels like a slap in the face, considering what she's done/doing to our marriage.

I also thought about this... my W saw clearly how sad I was yesterday to move the boys out. If she cared about me as the friend she claims to, I imagine she would have made sure I had plans for the night, and if not, she would have offered to be there for me, to support me through what promised to be a long and lonely night if I didn't have plans. Because before all this mess happened, we would have surely been together, I would have surely found myself in her arms on the couch, and she would have comforted me. But she didn't ask, didn't make sure of anything. She just went on her way and did her own thing. Completely in character with the WW profile, I know, but not at all the woman who would have been there for me - or for any of her friends in a similar situation - before this mess.

Anyway, as Cali said, I just need to put her in God's hands now. Today is the last day of the novena we all are praying for her. So it will be a good day to say that prayer, give her to God, and just focus on taking care of myself while trying not to think of her. We'll see how well I do.