BW05, I suggested a few years ago that posters put a rubber band on their wrists and snap it whenever your mind wanders as to what your spouses are doing or are going to say something that may create tension between the spouses. It really does work.
Recently, RosaLinda suggested this exercise to a poster because she used it when she was going through her experience.
I'm glad it's working for you. Yes, your wrist is going to hurt, but you'll soon learn to focus elsewhere.
Yea when the Pain of change is less than the Pain of staying the same. You wont want to keep snapping that rubber band!
