Today we went as a "family" to a school event. It was hard. I tried to be upbeat but I don't think I succeded. W brought her friend to act as a buffer, to make it more comfortable for her. So family time wasn't really family time.
We still talked more about how we should interact with each other and she is still angry. We talked about what family time we should have, she wants more. Everything I suggest she counters with "I said that months ago and now when you say it I'm supposed to jump" coupled with the classic "You call all the shots" line.
I listened and said "yes I guess you are right, but you have to understand that this is hard for me and new and we have all new ground rules now, I have to get used to this." She rolled her eyes and made disparing noises. I called her on that and said "I am trying to have an honest conversation with you and I feel disrespected when you roll your eyes and make those noises."
She says I shoot her down when she suggests family activities.
She states that I don't smile and she's tired of making excuses for me.
She stated that this is very hard on her.
She stated that she didn't leave the home but that I forced her out.
She stated that I won't own up to the problems leading up to the Affair.
I ended by saying well today we have talked a lot, made some progress with communication, maybe we can build on this. She did not respond to that.
We keep talking in circles about the SAME things, and making no progress. She keeps stating the same statements like a robot and I just STFU and listen. I even said "I am listening, I hear you."
I now know that I will not get an apology, she does not get the magnitude of her actions, the devestation that has been reaped upon our kids.
And her affair continues.... my S9 informed me of how they talk every night.
She is still in LaLa land, she makes no sense and I am tired of all of this. Lawyers said this will be an easy case. It should go to court next week. Great.
