Working on it, but affair hasn't ended yet...

[sandi2]

Well if you don't use the LRT now, when would you use it?

I know you are scared right now, but do not allow your fear to take over. She is the one who needs to be wondering what she needs to do and say. My advice is to not initiate any talk at this time.

I think you should leave the hotel and go home, or somewhere else. She has made her feelings known pretty clearly, so the last thing you need to do is act like the desperate, rejected H standing around with his hands in pockets. If you stay at the hotel, she will spend the rest of the time punishing you. So, don't stick around. Don't make any announcement or say anything about your intentions. Just leave. If and when she decides to contact you, tell her that under the circumstances you had no desire to carry through with original plans. And leave it at that. Say no more!

You have the chance to turn the dynamics around and now is the perfect time. You can use this opportunity to cause her to think you may be thinking of dumping her. By not staying with her and not have a R talk, and leaving her there.......that will get her attention more than anything you could do at the moment.

Back to what you were concerned earlier:

This is exactly where our problems began. I was absent. I 180'd to not be absent. This feels like a Last Resort technique. This seems like it puts us back to where the trouble started. So if that didn't work for our relationship when I was gone and missing, how, in my situation will this help fix the problem?

Below is what I had to say in my WW thread about this question you've asked.

First, the H has to see his own part of the downfall in the MR and work very hard to improve himself as a man. Notice, I said "man" and not H. The reason I said that is b/c the M is past the point of him showing her what an improved husband he can be. She is not interested in him as her H. If he now starts trying to implement all the things he sees he should have done in the past, it will hurt his effectiveness in getting this stitch turned around. For the WW, it is much too late, and she no longer cares about you doing those things. Based on what most newcomer LBH'S say, they think spending more time with the kids, showering the W with more attention, doing the housework, cooking, and running her errands (basically catering to her) will do the trick.