Another busy week at work, I am shattered. Next week my new schedule starts, more work in the same amount of time - these schedules have clearly been made up by someone who has never done my job!!
My supervisor told me I am the best cleaner she has had - yep, that is because I am the only one who has been able to consistently complete my tasks - and generally pick up the slack from the other cleaner as if I didn't then my shift looks bad.
So tomorrow is my first day off - no motel work, it will be ....strange ... I am looking forward to it, although must make sure I go and do something and not just veg out which is what I feel like doing.
On the h front - very confusing and almost given up really. Its a game I am not sure I want to play anymore and I don't understand the rules and am fairly sure at this point that I am going to lose. I text him last Friday - yep, I know what you are now yelling at your screen "noooooooo" but the reason I did t was to see how I felt doing it - was I comfortable doing it - and to see how he reacted to it. It was just a "Hi, how's your week been" text, he replied and I told him about my injury and injection. He replied that he hoped I was ok. We talked about Jnr s and he then said he was having the "talk" with ow that weekend and he expected it to be ok as they were both on the same page. I told him to be strong and follow through.
Then this week - nothing. Until today. H text - Morning (inset sunshine symbol here), how's your week been? - I replied and asked him how the "talk" went:
h "Did not go as planned, seems it is just me that has given up entirely. Still a working progress"
m: So what does that mean? Are you trying to mend things"
h "we are not supposed to be talking about this ...no not mending things, just did not follow your advise and remain strong so have to do it all over again"
m " sorry I asked but you know my boundary and when it comes to you I don't want to play games"
h" I know"
I then changed the subject, we talked about sx2, his parents who have emailed me a few times over the past couple of weeks and his weekend plans.
I work with mainly males and over the past few weeks they have asked my story and all have said they are shocked and what an idiot h is he he. I have mentioned the recent contact and they are all of the opinion that it is not normal male behaviour to leave someone and then want to be so friendly with them a year later - Then I have my female friends saying - RUN - that he is using me as things have not turned out as he hoped they would -
I don't want to be his "friend" - heck I am not sure I even want to be his w anymore. But these mixed messages are driving me crazy - loopy - la la. Life was so much better knowing where I stood - which was nowhere in his life.
anyway, onwards and forwards. 2 days off to look forward to :o)
