I think a majority of her unhappiness is/was my negativity during her years as a Medical Student and Resident. I was "Mr. Mom" always taking care of the kids because her schedule was crazy. I won't lie and say that I'm not jealous of her career. Her career as an ER physician is very rewarding, whereas my job is a very "thankless" job. I'm sure seeing how confident and happy she was in her job made me feel irrelevant. That't not her fault, but my behavior didn't help. The stress of my 8-5pm job, her ever changing schedule, and taking care of the kids (4 & just turned 1 year old) when she wasn't around made me negative. I hate saying "resentful" but that's the truth when looking at it from the outside in.
After we were married and had our first child she went right into ER residency. There was never much time for just "us" to work on our relationship.
There is a lot in here that I hope you are working with an IC on. And how happy are you now and how happy were you right before the BD? You own your own happiness and might need to use this time to figure out what makes you happy.
Originally Posted By: RobS99
She thinks I can't change, especially after the turmoil the past 3 months. I want to change not only for my family, but more importantly myself. I get that its not all my fault, she never told me my negativity was bringing her positive feelings down. She claims she did, but I never picked up on the hints.
Sometimes, WAW just wants things to be different. This from your original post seems to indicate that: "As she grew into career she became "Stronger" and realized that the issues we had were nothing she should have to deal with, therefore the BD."
Lots to be positive about here Rob. The change starts with you, and as you indicated, it needs to be for you.
me: 45 W:45 M 20 years T 22 years S14, S13, S11, D9 BD 2/28/14 D papers served 3/3/14 I moved out 3/15/14 MC start 4/2/14 I moved in 6/2/14 D suit withdrawn 6/30/14
