Where I focus on charity and prayer

[DifRent]

So, we moved the boys into their new apartment this morning... W actually made it so she could help all the way through, which at first seemed to conflict with her schedule, but the guys moved quickly and we were done sooner than we thought. I got a bit teary eyed standing in the kitchen and she noticed, came over and kissed me... I mean, a carefully placed, "not to be misconstrued as anything more than friends" peck on the cheek, but it was something.

After we unloaded the truck, W drove the UHaul and I drove our car back to the rental place. She drove right behind me the whole time. Her phone has that bluetooth handsfree connection to the speakers in the car, so when her phone rang and she answered it, she was close enough in range that the voice on the other end came through to my ears.

"Hi Sweetie, how's your morning going?"

Oh man... so many things run through my mind NOW that I could have said. But instead of those things, I just asked, "Hello? Who is this?"

<Gasp> on the other end, hangs up quickly.

The phone rings AGAIN.

"Hi..." "Yes, who is this???" Hang up.

One more time... "So, is the big move over yet?"

Honest to God... I'm like, "Hey, will you stop calling, please? Obviously, I'm not the one you want to talk to." Click.

I call the W, driving behind me. "Hey, your mistress keeps calling the car. Did not care to hear her call me sweetie. Maybe y'all could stay off the phone just for the duration of this little trip?"

She apologized.

We drop the truck off and she gets in the car. "I'm sorry you had to hear that conversation," she said. "I know it's hurtful."

I just nodded. I mentioned how the OW gasped and hung up when she first called.

"You know she and I are in a relationship now?" she said.

"I know you're in something, clearly," I said.

She asked me my plans for the day, and I was noncommittal. She dropped me off and left for her appointment, I opened the door and came inside. I thought for a minute how the W and I had looked forward to the empty nest, in a mixed feelings kind of way. Just the two of us, more freedom, we'd see them often because they are only 15 minutes away. But it was to be a new chapter in our lives, and their bedroom would always be clean.

Instead, she decided to write another chapter. I walked into the living room and just could not believe how absolutely empty this place feels, and how alone I feel. The kids gone, her gone... my whole family, gone, in just two months.

I lost it.

But I'm pulling myself together now, getting ready to meet with my Stephen Minister and packing for my visit to see Mom. I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like to be here alone tonight, seeing as how I'm having a very hard time being here alone just for an hour. So I am very grateful to be able to go see her - and grateful I can come back here and find amazing support as well.