THANK YOU SO very much everyone, I think I might be looking for emotional support in the wrong place
Bingo.
If your goal is to reconcile with your husband, why would you do anything to jeopardize that goal?
You are being told to tread carefully, not just because of your own safety, but also because you could be setting yourself up for failure.
There are two people I know personally who were having trouble in their marriages (i.e. were unhappy). They lived in the same neighborhood and their kids went to the same school and had been friends for years. There was no intent by either party to do ANYthing that would be considered out of bounds.
Since they were going through similar circumstances they began to lean on each other for support. Makes sense, right? But that's when the emotional connection really started to cement itself. And when someone is connecting emotionally and getting emotional support from someone of the opposite sex who is NOT their spouse, THAT is a form of cheating. It is called "an emotional affair." (And emotional affairs are how many physical affairs begin.)
If you are committed to your marriage, do NOT start getting emotional support from another man. You may think you have the will power to control yourself and nothing but the best intentions, but these stories happen with great frequency and the typical tagline is "we are just friends." The story I just told is of my XW and her OM.
You are in a vulnerable state right now. Getting some validation from someone from the opposite sex sounds appealing. And you and others can convince yourself that it is harmless, but you are playing with fire. There is no reason to play with fire, ESPECIALLY when you're in an emotionally injured state. There is plenty of healthy and harmless support you can get and there is plenty of work to do on yourself to keep yourself busy and on the path to recovering yourself and hopefully your marriage.
I will repeat: If you are committed to your marriage, DO NOT START GETTING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT FROM ANOTHER MAN.
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
