Trying to stay focus on me.....this is a challenge

[Pyrite]

Pyrite, the male friend is not interested (I don't think), I am certainly not.
Why did you say to "Tread carfully"?


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"Love is a many splendoured thing." "splendoured" being the the operative word and a verb. I don't want to "cheapen" love, but like everything else it is just a facilitated biochemical reaction. You can meet someone who pushes all your buttons, or you can take ecstasy to get the rush. This is my first point. You may not intend on it, but you are already looking forward to it, you will probably enjoy it, it will lead to a 2nd "date" etc etc. You are emotional and vulnerable. So might he be. I have found my whole life that women "warm" to an emotional man and you might be over your head before you realise it.

M, is more than this. Your life with your H is more than this. Your family deserves better than this. This is medicating. I'm not suggesting that you will, or that you shouldn't, or it can't be platonic. I am just warning you to "tread carefully" and remember why you are here now. I am not saying this is a bad thing either. This might be the love of your life. I m just warning that there is every chance that what could seem now like a magical thing, could just be all your emotions so close to the surface and your brain will try and protect you, if there is the encouragement to divert your pain, your brain will probably take it. And in a year you could be back here, starting again, H long gone, more baggage etc.

That said, this can also be a good thing. Like prescribed anti-depressants for e.g. But abused, or illicit, its not longterm healthy. In short this is not the time. But if you can, go ahead but tread carefully.

RL has already warned of internet predators - so that covered.

Absolutely platonic Rs can exist between genders. I probably value my female friends more for conversation (in general). But meeting "some guy" for coffee that my W (previously anyway) doesn't know, and keeping it from her, would be an "awkward situation". Just imagine your H's friend sees you. You are feeding him ammunition.Tread carefully.

I find the conversations helpful, makes me feel not as alone & it gives me somthing to look forward too,

No doubt. Have them here. talk with him online. Now is not the time. Look forward to everything.


now with the questions you ask yourself "Would I be proud to tell my kids" the answer to that would be no because I don't want to hurt them and I don't want any relationship either, but I don't know if they would think I'm looking.

That's such a great question to ask.

And what do you mean "if you have to also add ANY qualifiers"

General by qualifiers I would mean if there is any condition upon an answer of yes or no. In this case, and given your actual answer I would say if there are ANY words following yes or no, then it is probably a bad idea. Imagine your kids see you there. What then? Why should you feel like you have to explain yourself? You shouldn't. You shouldn't be doing anything where you even feel like you have to explain yourself. The fact that you answered you are worried about HURTing them. I would suggest you cancel

lame e.g. Brain dead: late here.

would i be proud to tell my kids:

a) I found a cheap new TV: YES

So buy it.

b) I found a cheap new TV "that fell of the back of a truck": YES - but only excluding the whole truth

So dont buy it.

Thanks again go guiding me.

Thats what I am here for Cindy. It is a pleasure. Hope "my opinion" gives you more "options" to consider. DONT necessarily take it. After all I am just an anonymous hack that screwed up his M.