I always feel that if I don't do everything "right" or "correct" in her book I will get punished for it. For example, if I don't send a post card, she will be even more hateful during the divorce proceedings. See what I mean?
A part of me things, if I do nice things/gestures back, then she will stop the affair, come back to marriage and family and all will be rosy. That is crazy thinking I know but it swirls round in my noggin.
Those comments just stuck out at me because they are very "Nice Guy" type thoughts. Maybe that book is something you should look into also. You have to get away from that type of thinking. Yes, doing certain things might influence her one way or another but those things wont make her come back, she has to choose that on her own. Nothing you do will MAKE her come back, that's out of your control. You could do every single DB'ing thing correct and it doesn't guarantee anything, it just helps slightly.
I think the card sounds fine, just have the kids pick it out and sign it. Don't overthink it too much.
Originally Posted By: HeavyD
I am struggling to reconcile the last 20 years of my life and to define what was real or what was imaginary. I realize now that it was mostly a figmet of my dreams or imagination.
Sorry for the downer post but Eyeore has escaped from his can and is now running amuck.
Stop. Your're letting what your W is doing control your thoughts and feelings, this isn't about you remember. What you had the last 20 years was real and nothing W does right now will change that. It only changes if you let it, don't.
I'm sorry Eeyore is hitting you so hard right now, I've had those days recently also. GAL, get up and do something if you cant stop thinking about it. Tell yourself you are going to be happy and make yourself happy!
You can do this HD, praying for you also.
Last edited by Fogg; 06/26/1502:16 PM.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
