Trying to stay focus on me.....this is a challenge

[RosaLinda]

Tread carefully Cindy. Is the male friend interested? Whilst you may be able to block this, you may not. Is it helpful - your call. is it OK?

MrBond, he's someone I met online, he is going through the same thing, the conversations are easy but I am afraid if we see my H while having a coffee in town that I will mess up everything.

Oh Cindy, I agree with Pyrite, you need to tread VERY carefully here. I am not saying that all men online are liars but please look at what kind of site you met him on. Please look at what his motivations might be for going on that site. And keep in mind that he may be telling you lies to get your sympathy.

I met a lot of wonderful supportive men both in the Divorce Care group at my church, and on this very forum, men who actually WERE going thru the same thing that I was. These men were determined to do their best to save their marriages, and were loyal and faithful to their wives. Our conversations revolved around how to DB, and the problems that we and our children faced.

My ex also met a lot of women online, on his Russian Facebook site. He presented himself as a sympathetic character, with a cold bitch of a wife who had been cheating on him for years. He told each Russian woman the exact same story - that he was only staying with me for the sake of our children and that he was starved for affection. He also presented himself as a business man. It was a pack of lies.

So....please, tread carefully If this man truly is going thru a divorce and is trying his best to salvage his marriage, you and he might be a good support system for each other. You can lead him to this forum and recommend he read Divorce Remedy. And then support and discuss the best ways to DB with each other.

But I would keep your conversations online for the present. Do not meet him in person until you know a lot about him, and until he has proved that you can trust him by his consistent actions.

The male friends I made on this forum have been a true lifeline for me. It was priceless to have a man's point of view on my DBing efforts and my ex's responses. Now that most of us have stopped standing, we remain dear friends. But I have also come across men on this very forum who turned out to themselves be the MLC cheaters and liars. A couple were even on the DB forum to snoop on what their LBS was saying and doing.

So I reiterate, please do not meet this man in person until you know more about him, at least a couple of months.