2 Post - learning too slowly

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You recognize that she actually showed you her sleepware. She is trying to get a reaction out of you, either to get you jealous or to get your attention and your interest. Don't bite that hook. You don't know which it is or why.

Second, what is she getting from her online relationships? What are the characteristics of that type of relationship that is different from yours? Could it be that it doesn't have real strings attached or obligation or other aspects of the spousal relationship? It is sexy, dangerous and yet safe (not actual dealing w/ the hard work that goes into an R), is he/they requiring anything of her in exchange (M comes loaded w/ obligations)? OK, while I'm not suggesting you start doing the flirtatious ego boosting, as that would not go over well right now, you need to recognize that she is wanting some freedom from obligation and reciprocation right now. So, don't communicate to her in any way that this is something you want or expect from her. Light, friendly, banter: great given that you aren't really apart. What are you doing, I expect you to comport yourself as if you are my W, etc.: not great.

She is still focused on you in many ways. Otherwise she'd be hiding all of this from you. The behavior may be painful to watch, but it may not be a bad sign. It may be giving you lots of clues if you don't react possessively and instead set aside some of your pain to be curious about it.

Thanks for the reply. And you are right, she is still very focused on me. She has spoken of the future, talked about how things will get better, and she is interested in the guy that will result from changes that we have discussed. Before DBing we talked about issues in the marriage that led to 2+ sexless years. Prior marriage was dead on both ends.

Is this something you broach with WW? Ask these questions from a position of curiosity?