Here are a few things I wish I had known right at the start of all of this -
- don't believe anything she says and only half of what she does. Just because she says "I want a divorce" doesn't mean that's what will happen. That's an emotionally charged statement that could change over time. It's not like you'd have believed her if she said it the day you got married, right?
- whatever your thoughts are on how long this will take, double it. Then double it again. Now you're probably in the ballpark but still low. Your marriage didn't fall apart in a day; it won't be fixed in a day.
- there are going to be ups and downs. This is not s linear forward path. Your feelings about you, her, and your relationship are going to be all over the place for some time. That's natural. And ok. What's NOT ok is reacting to them toward your Wife or your relationship with her - no good can come of it.
- you may never have this opportunity for self-reflection and self-improvement again. Really embrace it and use it. Wisely.
- you are strong enough to do this. It's not easy and it's not painless. But you can do it.
