The end is near

[asitis]

You seriously think she is going to have a happy anniversary? Are you? Now, do you think you wishing her happy anniversary when you are in this stage is going to make her anniversary happy?

I should start thinking about this, as my A is coming up in a few weeks (like you, I've made plans to be out of town & haven't even brought up the A). I maybe (maybe) could see a "thinking of you on this difficult day" type of text, but before you initiate any contact really, really think hard about whether this would attract her or drive her away. And while you're thinking about that, your lack of contact drives home the pain that she is causing by walking away, if she is feeling any: Wow, he didn't contact me on our A, that hurts. I guess that is what the future will bring if I continue down this path. Do I want that?

It may be more complicated if you have always forgotten these days and she has said that this is one of her big issues w/ you.

Of course, if she initiates, don't be rude, although I'd run any responses by the board for vetting.