Love Calvin and Hobbes!! Oh...I have warm fuzzies in my stomach reading that line.
Yeah, you are waaaay ahead of the mirror work. It will take W some more time to walk through her own journey figuring out her stuff and resolving them.
What's happening with the 5LL book that I suggested you get for W? I think that will address that ^^ very problem and get you to talk about your needs in authentic ways based on the 5LL principles.
You've just attended Retrouaville and I think adding 5LL in the mix now is a very good and useful tool for you at this juncture.
I just bought and read another Chapman book that really opened my eyes a bit. The title is Everybody Wins: The Chapman Guide to Solving Conflicts Without Arguing.
Thank you Wonka and I totally agree with the concept of buying the book, I have it on Kindle, both the iPad and my phone (I read it on the laptop via the reader). I have mentioned it a couple times but have not really had much feedback from W about it.
That being said ... observing her, she has ... I kid you not .. about 15-20 self help books all over the place, there is so much going on with her ... if I had to describe her at this moment its like watching a Hummingbird with ADD ... literally all over the place and she can not focus on one thing for very long. She has even shared this with me the past week, told me she tries to pray and will start off wanting peace and heath then her mind races and she is thinking about what tweak in her resume she needs.
So I do think actually buying a hard cover book would be useful, I am not confident she would read it just yet, she is currently reading 3 books, one the Priest gave her about Forgiveness, another that appears to be a novel of some sort, and a third from what I can tell is a more zen/peace/happiness book.
I would love that she reads it .. I think I actually could benefit from reading it again now that I find myself at this point of the process. I may grab it this weekend and read it myself, if she would like to peek out of curiosity then thats bonus.
She has so much going on ....Job search, classes for her Photography business she is now focused on,medical insurance, Classes for the job force stuff... not to mention wanting to do the gym, physical therapy, counseling, the M and rebuilding is down on the list, Me and our M is not the #1 priority but seeds were planted that it needs to be so she has made an effort the past few weeks ... calling to say Hi, asking me how I am .. how my day is without it being about "I need this or that" So that being said ... I realize me pressuring her at this point could be like poking Mt Vesuvius with a stick. I want to keep moving forward but she is still figuring out herself so I will be patient and wait ... we are MUCH better off right now than we have been in years even though I get antsy and want that New shiny M I dream I can have ... truth is she needs time to do the work, to become W 2.0 and then I have to make a decision if I can accept what she is able to offer me, as well as she must accept me.
Nothing much more than that, as I will continue to grow, continue to work ... currently I am turning more focus on my career which has taken a back seat as my focus was way to much on my sitch and M. I feel I need to put that on low, let it slowly cook, stir it a bit here and there ... but I really need to focus on work, and myself getting into shape. I have lost about 7 lbs the past 2-3 weeks .. goal of another 8 lbs would be great by the end of July if I can do it. Need to GAL and run a bit more as I have finally found a diet that seems to be working for me.
