Summer of Growth and Acceptance

[V2pt0]

Painter, thanks for checking in.

Question... did your H end his A straight away on his own after confrontation or did you have to wait for it to end? Would be interest to hear more about this.

What boundries did you set in your sitch and how?

With regard to his sister, I was supposed to say, ask H. Again, so he can control the entire sitch.

I was going great with getting out, GAL, etc. for the past couple of months, but I got a bit bogged the down the last month with work travel. These have been full on, go out every evening sort of trips. After two week long trips like this, almost back to back, the last thing I wanted to do was go out. This past week has been hard because all of my friends seem to be on vacation. Therefore, I have been home too much. It hasn't been bad because H is opted to stay somewhere else on multiple occasions or comes home late. So he is not going to see my GAL, not that that is the main reason to do it. I am assuming he is staying with OW, but he is still in full denial mode on that front. He does don't tell me where he is staying and I don't ask. So, I feel like I have not seen him very much.

I think what prompted the conversation yesterday was I wanted to get rid of the hostility and tension in the air. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do and I probably should have just stuck with it. Things had taken a negative turn with the most conversations about A and setting boundry. I think where I went wrong was going at from a place of anger instead of lovingly detaching and keeping PMA. But I was livid, as one would expect when you pretty sure OW has been in house/bed. There is only so far you can detach when the A has been brought into your personal space. That being said, I almost wish I woukd never had said anything and just detached. It was too much to not let him know I knew. I don't really know the right answer on how I should have dealt with it. All I know is my H and I went from having moments of connection to not speaking. Maybe it was ok to be the way it was. However, based on all I have read, the way for a WH to want to R is that they think the M will be better than it was before. Also to keep a smooth path home. I don't think either of those were the case the past 3-4 weeks.

I would be interest to hear more about how you handled the A and how your H got to the place of R.