Trying to stay focus on me.....this is a challenge

[asitis]

I'd add to the others' advice is that you want to be totally above board about it, so that H has no reason to think you are hiding something. It really isn't his business right now, but there are a lot of things he isn't seeing straight about. If you have a shared calendar (we do to coordinate on kids), put any event (coffee w/ bob) done on it. That kind of thing. You don't (and shouldn't) ask permission or go as far as checking in w/ H to let him know. Just if there is a way to subtly make it public knowledge ahead of time without checking w/ H.

We all need friends at times like this, and friends of the opposite sex are great at providing some insight into the S. Your H is making this mess, and you need to build a support network to deal with it. Very healthy.