Your H told you a lot, but did he tell you anything you did not know or feel in your heart already? Did it make you feel better to hear it? I am going to guess the answer was "no" on both parts.
Losty, why are you putting yourself through this torture? It makes you feel worse and does not advance your interests in the least. Do you want to look back at yourself in 20 years and see how miserable you looked? Do you need to place blame on your H for making you miserable? Or do you want to start detaching and enjoying your life - even in the current mess that it seems to be in - and have fond memories of how strong you became, how you rose to the challenge, despite what your H is doing. Don't give your H the power to make you miserable. Those R talks never satisfy us the way we hope they will because our Ss simply do not feel the way we do.
We all break the DB rules - I found myself going through the trash the other day - literally (and I consider this less snooping - pathetic, I know). But in having the R talks, you gave your H much more info about you than he needs or can handle right now. Unattractive info, to boot. I promise, I am not judging you. I just feel bad, because it does not help your sitch. You told him you do not believe D is the right thing. Now leave it alone. The more you tell him that (and I swear I told my W the same thing too many times) the more you will sound pursuing, clingy, and controlling. I hope you are not upset at me for saying all this.
Please stop by the 5K running thread. You need to get out of your funk.
I know Mahhhty has been a good friend to you and has counseled you well, thus far. Mahhhty, am I off the mark here? Your guidance would be appreciated.
