Where I focus on charity and prayer

[DifRent]

Yes... I'm doing my best to just do my thing and ride this out. It's hard knowing how obsessed she is with the OW, all the things she says to her that she used to say to me, and then all the embarrassing stuff, too. I just have to trust that it's the addiction talking, not my W.

This morning, I went up to our office and noticed some printed materials she had designed - well, one of them I had designed. This used to be my job. I complimented her - it's amazing how one compliment unleashes a torrent of attention from her, mostly seeking more attention from me, of course. She gave me yet another rundown of all her possible clients (she does this on an almost daily basis - still no money has come of any of it). Then she asked if I would do her monthly newsletter - which again, used to be my job. (Interestingly, she has shared all the newsletter links with the OW and passed them off as if she did them, not me. So she needs my help to impress the OW!) Then she commented that my hair needed fixing, and proceeded to fix it, while suggesting I change my t-shirt (which is pretty casual today) and asking, "Where are you going? Who are you meeting? Someone important?"

We did a few more things that just felt "couple-like"... talked about stuff we needed from the grocery store, had to switch some things around from one car to the next. As much as she says she wants to "live alone" in her sketchy apartment, I would love to have enough normal moments like those the next month and a half so that when they are gone, she wakes up and misses them with the kind of ache in her gut that I feel every day in mine.