"I've been here 2 weeks man. Believe it or not I have made progress. I'll get there."
You don't have to tell us that. But don't make a statement like that and continually ask how to detach. The only person who can get that started is YOU.
That is true. Sometimes it feels like things have always been this way. I have to remind myself that it's only been a month since the bomb dropped.
I am focusing on improving me. 180's and ending old patterns. Focusing on how to manage fear. That feeling in my stomach all those days after the bomb, FEAR. Plain and simple.
Fear of loss, fear of abandonment, fear of the unknown. It's what caused me to lash out, shut down, involve others for support, lose sleep, & stop eating. It's the fear that drives me to try and control events & the actions of others (impossible), to try and know all that is happening (impossible) by digging. The fear is the KEY.
If I can master the fear, feel it while knowing that I will be OK, that I will survive and thrive no matter what the outcome, then detachment is not nearly so difficult. I am doing much better. I have my moments. The fear is still there. It won't go away anytime soon, but I am learning to feel fear and know what is driving it. I know that I will be stronger after this. Either alone or with her, I will be stronger.
What are some things that you guys do to manage the fear?
Me: 39 W: 38 T-18yrs M-13yrs 2 Girls: 10 & 3 EA BD 5/24/15 Separate Bedrooms 6/12/15 PA BD 7/3/15 Separate Residence 8/8/15
