Mozza (13) + Links to success stories

[Mozza]

I'm back! I was daunted by the update of my initial post, but now that it's done, it will be easier to come back and give a quick update.

Mediation report | I survived the second session, but it got tense. I had to bring up the fact that WW might have foreign assets and income and she didn't like it, denying it and even raising her voice. I remained calm, but felt the mediator wasn't very helpful. I think WW simply doesn't understand what is asked of her, so one needs to explain it to her, and it becomes my job. Anyway, we had a talk after the mediation session and we both agreed that we wanted none of each other's money anyway — no alimony, no child support, no assets. We'll see at the next session (tomorrow) if this is even possible.

I don't like the mediator. She just doesn't seem competent. We spent half the session going back on stuff that WW and I thought were settled. Also, I had to correct the mediator a few times (I'm logical and detail-oriented) and she even mixed up names of the kids and our own! I never feel like she brings value, other than nothing down what we say. If it doesn't improve, I'll tell WW that I want to change.

Detachment report | This is getting a little better. The mediation session and then conversation with WW didn't affect me all that much, nothing like before. She's slowly becoming "just another girl", even though I'm not there yet. The reasons why I might not want to be with her are also becoming clearer, but I don't want to reject her out of spite or to make up for my own rejection.

During the conversation after mediation, she told me about work and complained about stuff that got her all giddy back at DB: now her colleagues are immature, noisy, talk about sex too much, the office dog is annoying, etc. Sigh. I keep thinking that if she hadn't been so impulsive, she would have quickly seen that this fantastic new life was an illusion. Also, she called me yesterday to tell me that her best friend back home had a serious health scare recently. She was still very emotional about it. It's not the first time she calls about safety topics. I don't get it and I don't try to.

Dating report | Much happened on this front. Women came and went in my life, some are still around. I play it as honestly as possible and it seems to work. Yesterday though, I surprised myself when I was very sad that one of them cancelled our date and wanted things to cool off. I didn't realize how attached I had grown in just two weeks. I had a bad day. I still have much to learn.

Work report | This is getting better (for memory: I freelance, from home). I have more motivation than before and I'm more productive, even though I'm nowhere need where I was pre-BD and where I should be. Still, here too I can feel the positive trend.

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Fogg | You're right, I need to focus on myself. In general, I'm quite good at it and I don't care much about the day-to-day minutia of her life. The mediation makes it harder, as we need to compare certain things for a distribution of assets, kids, money...

Toots | I imagine that it must be hard to start the financial disclosure. I don't like my own process and I sent you positive thoughts for yours.

mahhhty | I admire that you went through the mediation process. Thanks for sharing your experience.

raliced | Yes, "calm, principled and dignified" is a good combo. I think that's how I come across, if also a bit distant and cold. It doesn't quite help my robot image with WW, which is ironic because most other people around me seem surprised to realize how emotional I am.

HeavyD | Thanks a lot for stopping by. I also read your sitch every now and then even though I don't comment. I like the general direction of where it's going.

Wonka | I wrote that I "cant" work, much like would say "I can't watch that movie". Sure, nothing prevents me from working, but I find very little motivation to do so. As I wrote above, this is slowly improving. Still, my income will likely be around 50% of last year's.