I have read Sandi's thread on WW / WAW's many times. I do see a lot of similarities in our case, but just can't see an affair, and don't believe one is going on. Maybe I am completely blind. I have a hard time differentiating between a WW and a WAW and what I should do. She says I pushed her away. Do those same rules apply here as they do if she was having an affair? I think not, but maybe I am wrong. 180's for me are: not going out, getting up earlier, I run, I help with household chores, I have done some projects around the house I kept putting off. It is not that I was never home before, I was there every day, but now "it's annoying, because it is not me." She wants space, and I give it to her. I don't tell her I love her, especially when the kids are around, because she can't say it back and I don't want them to blame her. I give her space in the house, but don't make myself unavailable to my kids either. I do live there.
My sister has told me once this started or became apparent to me that she thinks my wife has little to no self esteem (although she is smart, talented, beautiful and I told her as much), she gets it from performing. I can see that point. She has always sang, but performing out is still relatively new (2 years +) for her and she keeps getting better gigs as she builds her reputation. She has also taken on a lot more responsibility at work and is doing very well there too. I am proud of her, but also think this all may be why she wants out. She can financially take care of herself and doesn't need me anymore. Does that make sense?
I have not brought up discussing our relationship with her for a while, I let her come to me. The last time I did was when our counselor asked us to discuss a healing separation before we went back, was it something we wanted to try or not? I told her that "Whenever you are ready we need to talk about it. Let me know when you want to." It turned into a rehash of the same old stuff we always talk about. That was 3 weeks ago and my wife has not gone back to the counselor, though I have kept our appointments. We have another one tomorrow, I hope she comes.
