She tells me, whether it is true or not, that drinking is not the problem. The problem is when I go out and stay out until the bar closes and come home drunk. I know that and regret some of my choices.
As I said, I'm relatively new to sobriety. But that statement above is a goldmine from your wife. The drinking is the problem. It's how it's manifesting that's upsetting her the most.
Imagine if she had said, "Your gambling is not the problem, it's when you go out and stay till the casino closes and come home broke."
Gambling would be the problem.
I was asked a powerful question when I reached out to a mentor 4 days after my W left and told him I wanted to get sober. "What's the worst thing that can come from a life without pot or alcohol? What's the worst thing that's come from a life with them?"
Day 1 for me officially began the next day. You've got a familial history and patterns working against you Elk with alcohol. I'll ask you the same two questions,
"What's the worst thing that can come from a life without alcohol?"
"What's the worst thing that's come so far from a life with it?"
Your decision, but the root of a lot of your challenges is staring you right in the face in my opinion. Getting rid of that root may not solve your marital issue, but it sure as hell isn't going to hurt it either.
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
