Summer of Growth and Acceptance

[V2pt0]

[quote=BW05]Also, just to add that his words and facial expression clearly show anger, hurt and blame at me for a decade of unhappy marriage. But then after I show empathy, validate, and show emotion, then he tells me to stop beating myself up and he is also to blame. Yet he has shown no actions, guilt or remorse for his accountability or blame in our M. I don't get this.

^^^^^
Yes I do....guilt.
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One other point. Still very defensive about A. No surprise. Says our marriage was done. Asked why he didn't you just leave? I probably should have left. Didn't say this, but I was thinking why are you still having A, hiding and lying about it, and still here if our M is so done. Still blaming me for A. I said I take no responsibility for your A, so stop pushing that on me. You had other options. Said I do take 100% responsibility for half of our marriage issues.

He is looking really run down and clearly not happy though trying to act it.

Ok, enough of this. I need to get it together and follow through on DB. Am I that far behind at 3 months? I think others said letting go and detaching started to really fall in place at 4-5 months. Need to not be so hard on myself. Feeling drained today. Focus on ME, darn it!! Why is that so hard. I do feel I had some valuable reflection and learning from today.