That was one of the harder lines I felt I had to walk with all this. All I can tell you is trust your gut, might be that your W is desiring 'family' time, its nice, a warm comfortable familiar blanket. My W was all about that, I allowed it but in retrospect there were times it was a face full of cake, when I finally seen that, I would make sure no cake eating ... but at times would still allow it to show her what she was missing out on, not so much filling her face but using chance to show I was the best choice, great father and a good man... not effected by if she was there or not.
I get the vibe that this time around you are making the right choice, you are not ready (to put on that 'show') ... and she could probably continue to use a dose of "This is what your choice is resulting in" ... its like a crockpot .. slowly cooks and takes time.
As far as your interaction... fake it till ya make it, go in "as If" you have had the most amazing week, and have enjoyed yourself ... but now that you have the kids you can not wait to have all that fun you have planned with a 'maybe some other time you can join us because I am so darn fun' type bounce in your step
