Dif .... Ok sure maybe you should not have read that ... but what a goldmine.
You are in the thick of it so allow me if I may to say what I took from this which is a bit.
Yes your W is starting to think ... hmmm ... maybe this IS wrong and God is punishing me (I will reserve my personal religious beliefs on this) ... these are her FEELINGS. Feelings are neither right nor wrong .. they are feelings .. OW made a big mistake in how she approached this as she is disregarding her feelings, basically saying they are wrong and instructing her how to FEEL ... as Heavy said and I have said in the past ... the result of this is PRESSURE. This is good.
Secondly ... OW is trying to steer this, in her favor .. planting rotten seeds, nothing you can do ... but its not offering W a better option. She may not see this now but this is not coming from someone who loves another person, a loving person might reply more along the lines of "I am sorry you feel this way", validate, listen, let her share, and if it were me I would tell her with Love, God does not punish us, he may allow us to stumble and fall but its not Him inflicting the pain in fact its us/the other guy, He wants us to learn from what we do and those lessons are between ourselves and God. Instead she went to the playground tactic and its Those evil ones (you and yours)trying to rescue you ...( hidden message there .. people would only rescue because they care) .. but that's not the point ... she is pitting a group of people against your W, now your W knows deep down they mean no harm, but will have to let this start to eat at her over time, she has shown her stubbornness and this will take a bit.
This plants the seed... Is it really all these people who cared about me for YEARS, or is it OW?
Let this seed be, add the DB water and do not change a thing ... its good she is starting to peek her head up a bit and finally reflect on what SHE is doing and the ramifications ... regardless where they come from. Let God take her for a bit, I know its hard. While this happens you be you .. PMA up and make sure you continue to be the better option, lend a ear if you need, STFU ... your W seems to need this right now.
On the Religious side ... one of the harder things I did was pray for OM, I prayed that he would wake and realize he could not possibly give my W what she needs, unconditional love, a warm loving whole family, emotional support, nor could he be there for her as she requires it when she gets ill. Maybe once a week I did this, and over time I have no doubt it started working.
